Sniglet contests will continue indefinitely while this blog continues it's quest for words that best describe all things doggie.
In our next contest, I am looking for the sniglet that best describes:
Drying yourself with a towel only to find that there had been dog hair on it (too late), and having the dog hair stick to your wet body.
There can be up to two winners, one for hand towels and one for bath towels. I think in houses with kids, like mine, towels are more likely to end up on the floor and then be hung back up amid a chorus of "I don't know who did that - it wasn't me(s)".
I will figure out some sort of extra credit for anyone who descibes my kid's knack of hanging up dirty towels , followed by their total denial.
About the top photo-
Connie won the first sniglet contest for submitting Etch-a Breath in the comment sectionto describe frozen dog breath on the inside of your car windshield.
As the winner, she got to post photos of her dogs. Here is what she had to say about them:
Katie is a 3-year old rough coat collie mix, rescued from animal control after being returned twice by other families. She's my son's protector, a big, bounding, furry ball of love who knows how to melt our hearts. Daisy is a 5-year old mutt (the pound said she was a shiba inu) who is my shadow, my security guard, my navigator (she knows which drive-throughs give out treats), and my buddy.
Victory dog, Jonny Justice
A pug! Mr Woestendiek you can't be serious.
The first thing that came to my mind is he sure looks like a pug, and the AKC would most likely ILP him as a pug if you sent them pictures and paid your ten dollars. But act like a pug he does not. For those that do not already know, an ILP stands for Indefinite listing privilege, and this is a hot topic for me and one that I will be visiting very soon. How many times have I been at AKC sanctioned events to see dogs who were in no way the pure bred dog breed that were supposed to representing.
I digress -more on this later in the week.
Now I ask you, does this quote from the Pug Rescue of Sacramento, sound like Mr McCain in any way? We are talking about a man who spent 5 long years as a POW?
"Pugs have been called the clowns of the dog world and were bred for one purpose, to be companion animals to humans. A Pug loves a good meal, a soft lap, and a soft pillow".
I knew immediately that there is only one dog that McCain could be and everyone I spoke to agreed.
McCain is a Pitbull.
You only have to look as far as Michael Vick, Victory Dogs, to see that. They are America's new media darlings.
What other breed could endure torture, and horrors and and come out stronger on the other side, with their mental capacities still in tact?
Have you all had a chance to see Wallace the pit who who spent the first year of his life in a shelter?
From Bad Rap.org web site:
"The animal that was once courageous enough to do battle with a bull or another APBT in the pit, now utilizes that same bravado to stay alive and sane in conditions where other 'softer' breeds might go insane".
Just because a dog looks a certain breed, it just doesn't make it so. You need to factor in breed traits to paint a full picture.
Still there is no denying that Senator John McCain is ILP-able as a pug.
Still can't believe how many of you don't about I can has cheezeburger.com.
Me and the kids are nursing a major addiction.
Here are a few of our favorites.
moar funny pictures
moar funny pictures
moar funny pictures
moar funny pictures
You know those commercials on TBS, where there is a call center and people call up and tell a story, to find out if it their story is funny and if it is ok to laugh?
Well I am the caller, and you are my TBS laugh call center.
Sadie is here. She is still sugar and spice and everything nice, but add to that a wee bit of adolescence and she needs to be watched all the time or she gets her self in trouble.
14 year old son came home about 9:30 Monday night, to find that Sadie had ripped some pink insulation off the wall in the furnace room and scattered pink fluff on the floor in his bedroom. He doesn't bother to tell me, and for what must have been the first time in his entire life, he cleans up a mess. In hindsight, I think he was trying to cover for her. He now knows now that he should have told me in case Sadie needed to got to the vet!
He also doesn't wash his hands.
Fast forward to the morning. I hear a "What the *#@!!" !! and a "Sadie" and a "moooooommmmm!"coming from his room, and I go down to see him itching his....umm nether region. Apparently he scratched during the night and spread the fiberglass insulation 'down there'.
I assess the situation and tell him to take a shower, or get a wash cloth....but nooooo, he is a middle schooler after all, and instead of washing the vile stuff off, he marches straight out the door.
As I watch him walk to the bus stop...hupping and pulling and scratching all the way, I laughed. I laughed a lot! Then I laughed more everytime I told the story.
In the early morning light, I am feeling a bit guilty about the whole thing. But deep down I am still laughing because everyone knows that middle schoolers know everything.
Sadie says: What? Why does everyone think it was me?
Featured on “Dog Talk” -authors John Ross and Barbara McKinney
A rolled up newspaper can be an effective training tool when used properly. For instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews something or has a housebreaking accident. Take the rolled-up newspaper and hit yourself over the head as you repeat the phrase, "I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG, I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG." If your dog laughs at you when you do this, praise him.
I found the link to the above gem over on Pet Connection.com yesterday. Gina has a brand new rescue dog who ate a peice of an old couch and a reader posted the link in agreement with her that the "incident" was her fault.
Growing up, my Dad used a rolled up newspaper on our dogs nose for chewing and housebreaking accidents.
We now know that the dogs of our youth learned many lessons in spite of, not because of our out dated training methods.
Me and my Golden Ginger circa 1973. Yes those are horses on my shirt.
For step by step directions on how to make your dog into an i Pod click here.
Or you can easiliy change the above directions to make one very cute i Pug.
Earlier today while browsing at The Kittery Trading Post, I snuck up on my 10 year old and observed her looking intently at boots that looked very much like the ones pictured below.
Not knowing I was behind her, she exclaimed out loud:
"What the heck! Those boots look like someone skinned a Collie!"
Then she turned to the woman standing next to her and in her best dramatic voice exclaimed:
"I hope no Collies had to die in the name of fashion!" Then as she lightly bopped her head from side to side and back again, she let out a
disapproving "mmm mmm mmmm."
There was laughter heard from as far as a few isles away and I proudly claimed her publicly as my kid.
"Finn and Charlee's Excellent Adventure"
"International dogs of mystery"
"Charlee looks on with interest as Finn's snout points the way to Camp Buster"
"No matter where you go, there you are"
At the risk of prematurely aging myself, I will let you all in on the fact that I used to love watching the Underdog cartoon, and secretly wished for a dog as lovely as Sweet Polly Purebred. Or maybe I wanted to be Sweet Polly Purebred, who can remember that far back. But either way, I gasped out loud in the movie theater when Sweet Polly Purebred, played in the movie version by a sweet lovely Caviler King Charles Spaniel exclaimed to the Beagle Boot Licker, who was actually just Underdog without his little outfit, 'There isn't a hose cold enough that can keep us apart". Now of course I was the only one in the theater who got the joke, and you bet I gasped! Not so much for the raciness of the comment, but the instant image of Polly and Underdog was just to much! Sweet Polly my arse! She said that after their first date!
And come to think of it, even my 5 year old knew that Boot Licker and Underdog were the same dog. Am supposed to believe that a dog, with a sense of smell at least 50 times greater than ours, cannot tell the identity of another dog if they aren't wearing a super hero outfit? Wait, now hold on minute, we are taking about dogs here right?
My daughter loved the movie. She came home and made capes for several of her stuffed doggies, cut up an old dress and made another for herself and they have all been flying all over the house ever since. All I have heard for the last 3 days is "There's no need to fear, Underdog is here", but me, well I was disappointed. My childhood memories crushed.
Sweet Polly Purebred is a dumb slut. Who knew?
Be sure to keep your mouth shut when chipping away at frozen poop.
After my last post about Harry the service pup that died, I thought we could all use some mindless fluff to help ease our minds.
Thanks to Amy for sending me this clip of Bunny Show Jumping.
Before we all run out and get agility prospect bunnies, check this guy out.
Follow the link --- make your own greeting --- and share it here!
Across the great pond, Charlee is causing a little bit of stir on this blog's sister site, It's A Dog's Life. Do you think I should write to Murph and tell him what a great dancer Charlee is?
Although I don't even come close to getting all the British references, The Murphmeister is still laugh out loud funny.
This photo of Murph at work was lifted without permission from his blog
Today I am an ace sleuth detective. I slip into the furniture store wearing inconspicuous clothing and dark sunglasses, determined not to make another furniture mistake. Purchased less than a year ago, our current couch has turned out to be a “dreaded dog hair magnet.” So under the cover of anonymity, I wander purposely around the store, searching for suitable fabric that will camouflage and repel fur.
Having dogs, and therefore having dog hair, you learn things about material. Parachute nylon-good; codura nylon-bad, very bad. It’s embarrassing watching the kids go off to school after their backpacks and pants appear to have spent the night down wind to a furball tumbleweed. Denim is usually good, but I do not want to live in a denim house. As a grown-up, I long for a real couch, instead of the usual fur and jelly cushions.
At the end of the aisle, I spot Ultra Suede. Very interesting. As I stand there pondering, I’m startled by a voice: “Can I help you?” Then before I can answer, I’m receiving the spiel about the wonders of this new miracle fabric: stain resistant, easy to clean, and guaranteed. “Sounds wonderful,” I say and then excuse myself to the ladies room, only to double back a few minutes later when the coast is clear. Carefully I open my zip locked bag of dog hairs and scatter a few on the sides of the arm. To my astonishment, it looks as though the couch is playing catch with the fur. My mouth is gaping as I witness a perfect couch landing. The hair went south and due west to connect with the ultra suede. Another dreaded pet hair magnet! Could there be above average static electricity today, for some reason? No, this cannot be. I have come prepared and reach into my bag to retrieve a dryer sheet. Palming the “Bounce” like a magician, I stretch my arms and covertly wipe the couch arm, and then drop a few hairs once again. Inconclusive. Back into the bag one more time for the lint brush and tape. The ultra suede passed the removal test unlike some fabrics that just seem to inhale the hair.
Moving on, I methodically test couch after couch. Some seem to be feeding on fur. Note to self; write a B-movie about couches that need dog hair to survive.
I do not even bother with the silk and chintz type materials. Never mind dog hair, they would never pass the kid test. We are a tough family-the kind of family that stain-resistant fabric was invented for.
Moving on, I arrive at the home entertainment couch. It has rocking seats, moving foot stools and hidden compartments. Storage bins could hold a weeks worth of food. The next Noreaster, we would only need to leave the couch for bathroom breaks. I start to feel sea sick, so continue on. Here is an interesting one. They call this brushed fabric. The fabric looks tough, but it’s also very similar to what we have now, and I know that doesn’t work for us.
And then I spot the leather. For a few moments I allow myself to dream of life with this beautiful couch, love seat and ottoman, but then the reality of canine toenails, Koolaid, and the ache in my foot where I was impaled by the ears of the Lego giraffe this morning sets in. We would destroy this couch in no time flat.
My high expectations are gone. I ask for several swatches and head for the car. At home I will double stick tape the swatches directly to the dog’s bed for further observation. Deep in my heart I know we will be a slip cover family for a few more years.
William Wegman fabric. It was not yet invented when The Couch was written.
Sophia confirms fall is still here!
Here on MaineToday.com if you want to know the weather you can read the weather report and/or click on the weather bloggers, and/or weather cams.
But here on A Dog's Life I would like to introduce my secret weather predictor, Sophia the amazing Weatherdoodle dog. Back in the spring Sophia let us know the split second Mud Season hit. In the summer, she was the first dog in my kiddie pool, but unfortunately I didn't have my camera handy. Rest assured that this will not, and can not be allowed to happen again, and Sophia and I will undoubtedly be at the ready to report the next seasonal change just as it occurs.
And now, without further ado, I give you Sophia's latest weather prediction:
Sophia confirms that Winter is coming!
Sophia also confirms that all seasons are just fine with her!
Thanks to Pam for sharing photos of her weekend hike at Tumbledown and Blue Mountain
My training clients have come up with some truly choice tidbits these last few weeks that I think are worth sharing.
On paying the cost of private sessions
We will find the money somehow, I need to do whatever it takes to keep my kid's dog. Besides, I rather pay you a few hundred dollars now, than pay his therapy bill in a few years, all because I got rid of his dog.
A divorce attorney costs a hell of a lot more than you and that is next person I am calling if we don't get this dog some training.
Can I pay you in advance? I have to pay you from our home equity line and there is minimum check amount. (really!)
Actual phone message
We need help, my dog is out of control! We thought we knew what we were doing, but apparently not!
But my dog is distracted by distractions.
And then there is always one unusual training problem that comes up every now and then. This one made my day...
How do I get my dog to stop pulling my kid's pants down?
Last year when A Dog's Life Blog was getting ready to launch, Maine Today asked for a picture of me with my dog to use in the heading. After looking through old photos, it didn't take long to realize that I would need to have a new photo taken. Several friends suggested that I hire a photographer and have the photo done right. Mom to three kids, I had in my possession a coupon for a free photo and free sitting from The Picture People. The Picture People will shoot people and pet portraits at the Maine Mall by appointment , but only before business hours and on some nights. Charlee has been there several times with the kids for holiday pictures and they did a great job.
This was a no brainer.
I got on the phone and made my appointment for the next day.
Charlee and I arrived clean and spruced at 9 AM sharp. In attendance at the mall that morning were various folks on their way to work, a good sized cleaning crew, and the usual huge contingent of folks walking the mall for exercise. No one was surprised to see a dog, but I did get tired explaining that I was not a woman with 7 cats.
The first time it happened I was sitting outside the Picture People waiting for them to open, when several well meaning folks stopped over to visit, admire the dog, chit-chat and tell me about the woman who had been sitting in the same exact bench as me the day before. Apparently she had numerous crates, filled with cats, and when time for her photo shoot arrived, there were so many curious onlookers gawking through the window, that people could barely get a glimpse of the woman with seven cats having her portrait taken.
"Oh no"! I told the nice old mall walker lady, "not me, I am not a 7 cat lady, I need to have pictures taken for work".
"Sure you do honey," she said as she patted my back and walked on.
That mall walker woman was one in a line of many who stopped by to recant the previous day's cat woman and tell me just how fascinating the process had been to watch. I in turn retold the story of how I once saw a photographer shoot 11 ferrets in a basket at a pet store. The photographer had a lot of helpers, and the finished product was amazing. All the ferrets looked as though they had been lounging the day away, when in fact the whole thing had been one big blur of fast ferrets and faster hands.
The walker contingent all assured me that they would come back to see how my picture was coming along and wave hello in the window. I just smiled and wanted to run away with my tail tucked, but I needed my picture so I forced myself to stay. No picture, no blog.
I thought long and hard (again) about submitting the above photo in which my brother photo shopped my head with my dogs, but too many people told me it was scary and looked more like Invasion of the Body Snatchers than a dog trainer getting inside a dog's brain.
Not wanting to scare people away before they even clicked the blog link, I forced myself to stay and wait for my turn.
Finally the manager arrived and we went in. I explain to him that I had called on the phone and I needed a release form that says I can use the picture for promotional purposes. He replies, "don't be nervous, we have lots of people who come in and have portraits with there pets, just yesterday I shot a woman with her seven cats, and last month we had a 4H group bring in a pony".
"No kidding"! I exclaimed.
We both agreed that a pony in a mall was much more exciting then me, my dog and the woman with 7 cats put together.
"That is really great" I reply, "but really, I love my dog and all but REALLY this photo is for work". He nods his head in disbelief and goes to get the release form, while recanting the last weeks pet visitors. Woman with 7 cats, woman with 10 cats, woman with 4 cats, woman with 6 cats. No, I stop him, I am NOT the woman with 7 cats-I don't even have any cats and I am allergic to cats.
I ask him to use the back room for the shoot, but he insists that he has to shoot me in the front window. In no time there was 20 or so of my new best senior citizen walking friends waving to me outside the big window and waiting patiently for my photo shoot to begin and I am now officially mortified. See-
In the end, I didn't have to use this picture, because we had the good sense to use my logo dog, but I say again...
I am not the woman with 7 cats seen
I am allergic to cats and the only one I have is this ninja kitty. Really!
Don't forget this is Kitten season. Many local shelters are holding Kitten Showers next weekend to raise much needed funds and awareness.
May 21st in Westbrook at the Animal Refuge League
I received this photo this morning in an email from a friend who would rather not be identified as a sender of pug pornography over the web. I apologize if I am breaking any copyright laws, but this was just too funny not to share.
If any one knows the history of this photo, please come forward!
Now that you have seen the dirty pugs, check out this clean one.
While sitting at my desk and contemplating blogging a "bad dog!" story that a client told me this weekend, I looked over to see my own dog participating in the very same activity.
Here again is a place where a sniglet is in order. I am looking for a sniglet to describe dogs who hide things in the house. My last dog used to leave biscuits and the like under piles of toys. She was partial to Lego Duplo's and she would fret when the kids played near her stashes. I even caught her tipping over the red bucket filled with Duplo's to feather her edible nest with.
Current dog likes corners and anything made of material that she can use as a cover. Minutes ago I caught her leaving a marrow bone under my daughter's old winter coat that she found in the basement in a give away pile.
For lack of a better sniglet, I think 'home hoarders' can be used to describe this not quite natural but all too common act of the domesticated dog.
For those who are wondering what my client's dog did that was so bad....
Lady the Rat Terrier dug a whole in her owners mattress to bury her stash.
Bad dog Lady!
Is your dog a home hoarder? Can you think of a better sniglet to describe dogs burying their booty in places other than dirt?
Since yesterday's blog was (once again) about dog poop, it only stands to reason that today's blog will touch on dog poop's gastrointestinal cousin, dog vomit.
Lets jump right in, shall we.
Are you (like me) happy when your dogs '"clean up" their own vomit before you get a chance to?
Come on, admit it, you are happy when your dog cleans up their own puke (and the kids and cats to).
Puke eating makes me so happy that it has prompted me to invent two new sniglets to describe the event. A sniglet is a word that should be in the dictionary but isn't. Sniglets were made popular in the 80's by Rich Hall on HBO.
Just last week I was driving on 95 and I heard the tell tale gacking noises coming from the back of my minivan, but I could not pull over for several miles. When I finally did, I was overjoyed to find that I couldn't find a trace of vomit, because Charlee had done such a good job of taking care of it herself.
Here are two new sniglets that I have been toying with that describe just such an event event:
Yupchuck (works on two levels because my dog's name is Charlee)
used in a sentence:
When I was driving to work Charlee Yupchucked so well I couldn't even find it.
used in a sentence
After the holiday feast there was a lot of regurgelation , because grandpa fed the dogs all his leftovers.
Do you have a better one to describe a dog eating their own vomit?
Do you know any other good dog sniglets?
Please post them here.
Here are a few more dog sniglets to help get you started.
Pupkus-the moist residue left on your window after your dog presses their nose to it.
used in a sentence:
I need to get out the glass cleaner and clean the pupkus off the car windows.
Teenis-tiny penis (my youngest made that one up when she was only 3)
used in a sentence:
That puppy has a teenis.
Muddzle-a muddy muzzle, usually formed when dogs try to play ball or stick while wearing a basket muzzle.
used in a sentence:
Keep the balls away from Rollo or he will be wearing a muddzle.
and my new and hard to beat favorite...
Tinselrectomy-what your dog needs after they have eaten tinsel off the Christmas tree.
used in a sentence:
Never try to give your dog a tinselrectomy. Call the vet!
Wouldn't ya know. I have been working non stop night and day on a blog for Tuesday (tentatively called Testicle Tuesday) and the maker of the product I was writing about goes and wins the LG Nobel Science Award and now he is spattered all over the news this morning.
So, this blog obviously cannot wait until the official Testicle Tuesday predetermined launch date, and I have scrambled to bring you all the up to the minute testicle dog news today! So without further ado...
Today we have three products on the board to mull over.
Bad taste alert. If you do not have bad taste or a sense of humor
, then do not read on.
Is your dog recently neutered or do you need a gift for the dog who has (almost) everything?
Try the Oh nuts I've been neutered gift basket.
available at Walmart on line (who knew!)
But really the star of today's blog is the Nuetical company. They are the makers of testicular implants for dogs, cats, horses and bulls. Pour yourself a cup of coffee, and take some time to really explore this web site, and don't miss the on line store.
Remember, you get a free "It's like nothing ever changed" bumper sticker with every implant.
Can't decide if I like the key ring or the necklace better. What do you think?
I have been looking for a place to blog the humping dog toy and I reckon this is as good a blog as any! Note that he has had a recent name change from Boner the Humping Dog to Humphrey the Humping Hound but the toy remains the same. I am glad I waited, because with a name change, the manufacturer has now given us a "shocking" action video.
Yesterday's blog jogged my memory of a story that made the doggie email rounds many years ago. I searched, dug it up and here it is. Very Very Very funny!
I bring you...
Be sure to check out all the pages including Agility Barbie's favorite dog vanity plates.
If you are a fan of the incredibly goofy as I am, I hope you have a computer that enables you to watch this short movie entitled:
Mission Fruit Loops based on actual events, starring Micro the Miniature Dachshund.
With rain rain and more rain to come, it is time to laugh at the weather with Triumph the insult comic dog...
This add for a Bulldog breeder appeared recently in
Dog Fancy Magazine. Now hold on, it is not what you think! Johnsons are a line of Bulldogs that apparently are unbelievably huge!
On one of the many Yahoo Trainer lists I am on, someone recently posted this link to a great training article by Suzanne Clothier,
author of Bones Would Rain From the Sky . At the very bottom of the article, she mentions
Buck Naked Dog Training.
Basically she tells of how we should all be striving towards improving our relationships with our dogs, not dependant of anything else. Would your dog listen to you if you had no clothes, no collars, no leash and no treats?
I pondered this for a short while and realized it could really give quite a twist to my "in home privates".
Here is the tip of the day:
Do not Google either Huge Johnsons, or Buck naked dog training. I admit to Googling both in the name of research, and now I need to wash my eyeballs out with soap.
My welcome screen on AOL this morning tells me Swarovski crystal dog tags are the “new thing" and all of Hollywood is scrambling to get their tags and even matching collars.
Here is a tag I had made locally for 7 bucks. My dog is often used as a demo dog and when she visits with people she often flings her derriere right at them, and still they don’t understand that all she wants is for them to:
For all her hard work, it was the least I could do in return!
Which tag would your dog rather have?